Suffering

[silvershe_wolf]

A very well known part of Buddhist wisdom is the idea that ‘life is suffering’. In fact, the word Buddhists use is actually 'dukkha' which may be more closely translated to ‘unsatisfactory’. But, I am not actually going to talk about Buddhism as such here (after going to a Buddhist centre for over a year now I still know very little about the ‘religion’), but about my own personal feelings on this idea.

 

When I first picked up a book on Buddhism and read those words ‘life is suffering’, I honestly felt this enormous sense of relief. Like, really? It’s not just me then? I guess the thing is with suffering is that we tend to get so wrapped up in it. We concentrate so much on the pain itself and the perceived cause of it that we seem to block out the rest of the world entirely. I was amazed a while back when I met up with a friend of mine (who was visiting from uni) and she was having money troubles. I was pretty ill, as I often am, and all she did was talk about money and how lucky I was because I had some. She was genuinely jealous of me!

 

At the time I was shocked. How could she not see the pain I was in? But then I realised that we all do this to extent really. We focus so much on our particular cause of suffering that we become rather blinded to everyone else’s.

 

But, it need not be this way. For me, to use the words ‘life is suffering’ is to come to some form of acceptance. You will feel pain. You will have problems. So the question is: how do you choose to deal with them? Will you let them dominate you by focusing on them, fighting with them, blaming friends and family and life and God? Or will you let your own suffering open your heart to others - for they are suffering too.  

Comments

[precious-rosie.livejournal.com]

Sometimes we can't see past our own suffering. It's nothing personal and in doing so we unintentionally hurt those people.

It's easy to blame other people or the way life because we are conditioned to, our parents did it and as their children we learn by their example. Some of us are enlightened enough to learn that this doesn't have to be the way.

[silvershe-wolf.livejournal.com]

Exactly Rosie. We have to constantly challenge our socialisation, even if it is tough sometimes.

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

You speak a lot of sense! Buddhism tells us that shit always happens and its how we deal with it that matters. Have you found the LJ user "bhodibird" who is just starting a serious journey into Buddhism? I think you would like her.

[silvershe-wolf.livejournal.com]

Indeed, I have found going to a Buddhist centre very helpful; there is so much wisdom in the religion.
And I will check out bhodibird; always love finding new people on here.

[kuukiventomu.livejournal.com]

Definitely opening my heart to others.. but it has not always been easy and I'm only slowly learning to live with the acceptance of suffering.. All my life I've been extra sensitive to that suffering as I'm what i call an empath (I feel other people's feelings or energy as well as my own and sometimes I have not been able to distinguish these two)and it made me quite depressed and powerless because I saw no hope for us. But now I see hope and I've found Love and I know I am here to express this Love & shine it and help people to find or light it within themselves. Of course I can't help all but maybe some will find the way to help themselves.

Oh, there is so much I'd have to say about this fascinating subject, Buddhism, suffering, hell & all that but I'm ill (having a flu) and my head is too dizzy.. but maybe I'll try to write more later. :)

[silvershe-wolf.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean, I am a bit of an empath too. I feel other people's pain, but when I'm really ill I tend to be dominated by my own. I really think I have opened up lately tho to the unity in suffering, and this has actually reduced my own! I think focusing on our connectedness creates a sense of peace, and trying to help others creates a sense of meaning.

[multred-a.livejournal.com]

I once planned to write a book called: "Get Over It, Get Fucking Over IT." Because that was the way i dealt with problems-thats my way-it is not other peoples, and I think everyone deals with pain and problems in their own way.

Two things; my mother died from gangrene and the fact that she could not swallow-gangrene up to her knee. She also lost six babies before I was born-just healed and got pregnant again. So, that was one role model.

The other-I went back on estrogen-and when you are on that -nothing bothers you-its like a little cocoon forms around you.

Life is full of trouble-you wake up in the morning and decide to be happy(my mother always said), then, you go out and find a way to attack your troubles-don't let them attack you. I have been smacked in the face by so many boards in my life-that when I get hit, I shake off the pain, stand up, and go on.

People who have no trouble in their lives fade when little problems arise. You, who have had pain and trouble, are stronger for it. Just get up tomorrow and fight on!!!

[freudian-slip-x.livejournal.com]

I love your proposed book title--I'd buy it.

[multred-a.livejournal.com]

Why, thank you. Since I'm taking my pension, I may write it(after I finish writing about Marian and Allan in 1841)I hate those whiny self-help books.

[silvershe-wolf.livejournal.com]

So sorry to hear about your mother hun. My mother has been an inspiration too. She has had a difficult life but has always been kind and sensitive and strong.
Sending you *hugs*.

[multred-a.livejournal.com]

Thanks-they did teach us to be strong, didn't they?

[amandajane17.livejournal.com]

I agree......Suffering and pain are part of life and we can learn from them.

I think the phrase what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is very true.

And yes if you can open your heart to others to comfort each other's suffering then the world has to be better for it.

[silvershe-wolf.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading some of my old entries hun.

And yes I think suffering can make you stronger, but some people view 'strength' in a way I don't really agree with. I meet so many people who have had difficult lives and have become cold and unkind, even violent, and labeled it as 'strength'.

I see strength as going through hard times, but using those experiences to open your heart up to others and see how they suffer too. As you say, if everyone did that, there would be a lot less pain in the world.